


Against Type

by Puck Yeah (Ovi_girl8)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Improbable mention of Hamlet, Light Angst, M/M, Meta, Philadelphia Flyers, Pining, Silly Boys, Trope Inversion, a Nolan who isn't afraid of emotions, characters acting against canon type, idiots to lovers, meddling siblings, meta fandom references, my ongoing love of the boys being crammed in a booth together, tumblr love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27927277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ovi_girl8/pseuds/Puck%20Yeah
Summary: AU: Patty isn't afraid of emotions at all, but Teeks just might be.Or: Patty's sisters never would have let him grow up unable to talk about his feelings. They’re not about to start letting him get away with that shit now. With a little help from Tumblr, Patty and TK might just find their way to each other.
Relationships: Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Comments: 10
Kudos: 210





	Against Type

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of fluff and very little angst. Also, very Tumblr/fandom meta. Thanks for reading! And you can perfect the meta nature of this fic by following me on Tumblr. 😂😂😂 I'm on there as @puckingfabulous

"I don't get it, Nols. Why do they all think you can't talk about your feelings?" Maddie asked.

She had Tumblr open on Nolan's iPad, looking at the stan accounts he refused to visit, ever. What kind of loser searched for shit like that about himself?

He grumbled an answer. He had no idea why they all thought he was so emotionally constipated, or whatever.

Maddie swiveled in his desk chair, facing him where he lay sprawled back on his bed. "Do they not realize that you have two sisters? That you literally grew up sandwiched between two girls?"

"I don't fucking know why they think that, Mads.” He shrugged, scrolling through Spotify. “Probably because I hate talking to the media."

Her face lit up and she spun another turn in his chair. "Oooh! That's it, eh? It's because you're all grumbly and monosyllabic during interviews." And then she began laughing hard, clutching her side. "I mean, oh my god, they literally have no idea that you're the most emo dude in the world."

"Stop." He cut his eyes upward at her.

"Have they not figured this out from your taste in music?" Maddie pointed at the iPad screen. "I mean, **@Meowpats19** here, she has literally screenshot your entire Spotify and put it on Tumblr. Every song is sad sack."

"Untrue. I don't even—"

"And you lay around this room”— She waved in his direction vaguely—"pining over your best bro."

"Really stop it, Mads," he growled at her. She wasn't letting up.

She got up and walked over to his bed and settled a hip on the side. Her expression was suddenly much more serious. "You pine and you mope, and let Travis _hurt you_ every time he texts you about some new girl."

"It's fine. He's straight. That isn't gonna change."

"It's fine?” she repeated incredulously. “You're not-so-low-key in love with him."

He lifted a shoulder. "He's into girls. That's his thing. Not gay besties from the Peg."

"You could tell him how you feel," she offered in a careful tone. "Big news flash there, baby bro."

He shook his head vehemently. "Not happening, Mads."

"Okay, I get it," she said, chewing on her lip for a moment. She was clearly debating about whether to say something. "Does he even know you're gay, Nols?"

Her expression was pitying, and it fucking pissed him off. He slammed his laptop shut, scooting back on the bed and away from her. "I'm not talking about this anymore."

"Because you're an inarticulate asshole who wouldn't know a feeling if it slapped him in the face."

"I think we just established that isn't remotely true. I'm in love with my best friend, Maddie. I'm not afraid to tell you. Or about half a dozen people. I'm just..." He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I'm just too afraid..."

"Of that emotion?"

He made a scoffing sound. "Fuck that. I'm down with love. I could spend forever with the guy. That's not it." He kept raking fingers through his hair. "I'm just, like, stuck. Because I'm terrified to tell him how I feel."

"TK is crazy about you, Nolan. He l _oves you_. Maybe he doesn't understand it, but I've seen how he looks at you."

He snorted skeptically. "Like I'm the second fucking coming of Gretzky, eh?" He laughed it off, but he was deflecting. Because he was stunned by what she was telling him. That she saw it too--that _thing_ , the one Nolan thought was secret and only for him. The one he always doubted really existed. 

But if everyone--or even some people--could see in Teeks' eyes what Nolan always hoped he did? Then maybe he had a chance. Somehow he might just have one.

At that exact moment, he got a message notification. Turned out the text was from TK--a pic of him with his arm around a perfect blonde girl. No, not _a_ girl: He was smashed between a matching set. Teeks wrote, _"We could be sharing, bud! I took this pic for u"_.

Nolan groaned and Maddie yanked the phone out of his hand. Right as he shouted, "Fuck my life!"

"No, no. Don't freak yet. He wants to share! I mean, talk about flirting with you."

"By sending me a pic of himself with two girls? Those are some pretty fucking lousy moves there, then."

She studied the picture. "But the way he's looking at the camera. His gaze is smoldering."

"That's cause in TK's head, he's already got them back to his apartment."

"He had them take it for you, though. Isn't that what his text said? 'Took this pic for u." Maddie got a kind of sly tone, eyes narrowing. "I actually have a few notes in my phone," she told him carefully. "Of peak moments of you two together on camera. And you can tell in them--I swear--you can tell he's into you," she said. "Video of specific game times over the last two seasons, that sorta thing. Just--if you're interested."

He felt his face flush. "Oh my god. Get out of my room!" But he laughed, and had to bite on his lip to keep from asking for that list, so he could see these clips, where maybe Teeks appeared to be into him, too. Where maybe Teeks was looking at him with something more in his eyes.

She rose from his bed, shoving his knee affectionately. "Ok, I'm gonna leave you to think on what exactly it is you're so afraid of, bro of mine." She stopped and paused at the door. "Let me know if you change your mind. About the vid clips."

He made a noncommittal noise, and just fucking hated his sister for making him want to see those clips so badly. It was already awful enough that he wanted things he could never have, and desperately wished that he could. 

He reached for his phone, and stared at the picture of TK. He looked fucking gorgeous. Miraculously, his snapback had vanished, probably somewhere at the bar. His hair was loose to his shoulders, a little sweaty, and Nolan sat there on his bed and wanted. He fucking yearned.

Maddie was right; he was doing fuck all besides pining for TK these days. Irritably, he texted back, _"I don't share."_

And wished like hell that TK knew what he really meant. _I don't want to share you. So stop making me._

///

When Nolan woke the next morning, he had a text from TK, sent at 3:32 am. That fact alone hit him in the chest, hard. As if he needed a reminder of what TK had probably gotten up to last night with those two blonde girls.

**TK: U don't share, eh? 🍆 🔥**

**TK: that was sorta my point, bud. One for each of us! Hurry home, babe!**

"Babe," Nolan repeated, shaking his head. He tossed his phone aside on the mattress with a pathetic groan, scraping palms over his face. Objectively, he had to get over this thing with TK. How the fuck was he supposed to face yet another season of pretending he only felt like buddies? Not when he was actually in love with his best friend.

He just couldn't handle falling back into the routine of third wheeling while TK picked up girls--ones Nolan had zero interest in sleeping with himself. Now here it was, end of summer, and he was heading back to Philly tomorrow-- and he was still in love with Travis fucking Konecny. Zero progress.

He hadn't answered Maddie last night when she'd asked if TK knew about Nolan. About him being gay. He'd never said anything to TK. Not because he didn't trust him. It was, like, he didn't want it to change anything. Didn't want TK to stop opening his arms wide for hugs. Didn't want him to stop jamming his feet under Nolan's legs while they watched crime shows.

And he especially didn't want TK to start noticing too much, all the dozens of little ways that Nolan might give himself away.

So, he kept one of the most important parts of himself hidden from his best friend. And tried not to imagine how hurt Teeks would be if he finally did find out--which only kept the secret dragging out longer, and feeling bigger and bigger.

He got a text notification and rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, Travis," he muttered. Because it was definitely going to be a text from TK, bragging about the two blondes from that fucking picture.

But no. When he opened his texts, it was from Maddie. With an attached picture of Nolan with TK.

**Maddie: A free preview. Let me know if u want links to clips and pics.**

**Nolan: if this were something I wanted to talk about, Mads, I'd be talking about it.**

**Maddie: crabby**

He lay back into his pillows and stared at the picture, studying it. Maddie had taken it last January during bye week, when TK had flown home to Winnipeg with him. He remembered how his stomach had fluttered when they'd landed, and just feeling so fucking vulnerable. Like his skin had been laid bare; like he'd been stripped to the bone. Winnipeg was home, his heart. And Travis was there to share it all.

Maddie had taken the photo of them that night by the fire, relaxed and a little buzzed, nestled up against each other. Nolan was looking at the camera in the pic, but TK was looking at Nolan. And his expression, it was just so fucking soft. Like, without Nolan watching him, he could let his real feelings show.

Nolan squeezed the covers in his hands, twisting and tried not to want. The photo, that had to be wishful thinking, surely.

But what if it wasn't...

Well, he would be back in Philly tomorrow night. He better do something to chill, because right now, he was about to vibrate out of his skin.

**///**

When Nolan's plane landed in Philly, he had three texts waiting from TK.

**TK: I'm at baggage claim, dude!**

**TK: reunited and it feeeeeels so good.**

**TK: got u a surprise 2**

Nolan stared at the texts, and his face began to flush. The tips of his ears heated too. Fuck. He tugged his snapback down and stared out the plane window. Maybe if he just kept on sitting here, on the runway, he could avoid his best friend permanently. They still hadn't opened the plane door, so he let his eyes drift shut, jarred when he got several new text notifications from messages he received while in flight.

 **Maddie** : **In case you need courage.**

She had attached a new picture. This one was from last summer, out on the boat in Port Stanley, when Nolan had visited TK at his lake cabin. They'd spent a glorious day on the water, and they were probably both more than halfway buzzed in the pic. When the sun had been almost ready to set, TK had pulled Nolan down on his lap, tossing his phone to Lawson. "Take our picture, dude."

When Lawson handed TK's phone back over, Teeks had stared at the picture and gotten quiet for an endless moment. Nolan's heart had been in his throat, slamming so hard he heard the whoosh of blood in his ears. Finally, TK said, "Looking good, Pat." The words were quieter than usual.

He'd tried not to preen. Or to feel flushed, still sprawled on TK's thighs, one of his hands splayed against Nolan's side.

TK never sent that photo to Nolan--but apparently he _did_ text it to Maddie. Though Nolan couldn't imagine why he'd done that, except it was such a him thing to do. To remember Nolan's family and want to just be randomly generous. Because that's how the guy was, every day of the week. But why wouldn't he have sent it to Nolan, too? 

Nolan studied the picture now. TK's hand was resting on Nolan's thigh, and TK was... _holding onto_ Nolan. Like really holding on, as he threw his head back laughing. Nolan stared down at the picture now, as passengers retrieved their baggage from the overhead. The picture lit a torch of want, deep inside Nolan, and he knew he shouldn't let it catch fire. Knew that he shouldn't want this, that he couldn't have it--no matter how badly he burned.

TK wasn't Nolan's, not in any real way, even though the photo made it look like he was.

He replied to Maddie with the truth

**Nolan: he's not mine, Mads.**

It barely felt like she'd had time to reply when his phone dinged.

 **Maddie** : **Maybe not yet. But I think he wants to be.**

And just like Nolan had done, all summer long, he ached with just how badly he wished her words were true.

**///**

When Nolan entered baggage claim--and saw TK's "surprise"--he immediately spun on his heels and started walking the opposite direction. 

"Buddy!" he heard TK cry out from behind him, and then the dude was hopping up alongside Nolan. Practically body checking him out of sheer enthusiasm.

"The fuck is that?" Nolan asked, nodding toward what TK was holding in his arms--a giant raccoon with a red bow around its neck.

Teeks thrust it at him, grinning so broadly that his eyes scrunched up adorably. Adorably? Was that really how far gone Nolan still was, after four months apart from the guy?

God, just fucking shoot Nolan now.

When he didn't take the ridiculous stuffed animal, TK waggled it at him. "Welcome home, Patty Cakes," he said and then bro-hugged Nolan, even with his arms full of giant raccoon.

Reluctantly, trying his best to act like the raccoon was a deeply offensive object, Nolan took the fucking thing and shoved it under his own arm. He knew from experience that they'd never leave the airport until he accepted this "gift" (in air quotes.)

"Isn't he adorable?" Teeks waggled his eyebrows, flinging an arm over Nolan's shoulder.

Nolan gave him a light shove. "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

"I missed you, bud. Provy suggested it."

Nolan cut his eyes sideways. "You're lying."

TK folded instantaneously. "Fine. You're right. A fan sent it to the team office for me. And then I asked Provy if I should." He knocked his shoulder into Nolan; Nolan knocked him back. "I thought you'd like it," Teeks said, grinning up at him and Nolan felt a little bit helpless.

"What the fuck about this occasion," Nolan asked, "said 'let's bring Nolan a second-hand stuffed raccoon'--"

"Entirely unused, babe--"

"A raccoon that is literally, like, nearly half your size."

"But you're big. It's to scale. And I thought you'd like it. I really missed you, dude. I had to go big here."

Nolan's cheeks began to heat and he managed a mumbled, "I'm touched."

"Yeah, bro. Like in the head."

Nolan gave him another shove and headed toward the baggage carousel. And hoped that somehow he could get through the season without losing anymore of his heart--or mind--to the little fucker.

**///**

By the time Nolan was almost unpacked, his phone started ringing. Maddie. Big fucking surprise.

He accepted the call. "Can't talk."

"Ohhhh," she said, sounding conspiratorial. "Text me when he leaves."

He rolled his eyes, tossing a final hoodie in his drawer. "TK's not here."

"Then why can't you talk?"

"Oh, I can talk," he said flatly. "I just don't want to."

"Avoidant much?" she asked, but her tone was careful. She always had known just how to push him, the ways to get him to open up--but without shoving at him too hard.

He sighed. "Fine. I know you want details. I can dish."

"Oh my God, you're in his orbit for a few hours, and you're already twenty percent softer." She began laughing. "I could've used Travis's help all summer while you pined and moped."

"Oh fuck off," he said but they both started to laugh.

He collapsed backward on his bed. "Mads. Just fuck. I'm never gonna survive this season. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get through it." He rubbed his eyes, which were stinging suddenly.

"Oh, sweetie. It's like that?" she asked super gently.

He didn't say anything at first. Just listened to his sister breathe as he stared at the ceiling. She waited him out until he blew out a breath. "He brought me a second-hand stuffed raccoon as a present. To the airport."

Maddie burst out laughing. "That _would_ be his idea of romance."

"He was regifting it. But it did have a floppy red bow."

"And he brought this to the airport?"

"Yep."

"He's so in love."

He held the phone out and just stared at it for a full five seconds, as if somehow he could make sense of every fucking thing her words had just made him feel. Finally he pressed the cell back to his ear.

"Shut up. It was, whatever. A joke," Nolan said. "I mean. I think."

"Did Travis _say_ it was a joke?"

"No. He said that he, like, missed me."

"Nolan!"

"As buddies. Obviously."

"No, not as buddies! Nols, I don't care if you want to see video proof from me or not. I swear I'm going to start sending it anyway. And you need to freaking tell Travis that you're gay. It's _time_."

He listened to the traffic outside his apartment, out on the street. And wondered what it might be like if TK knew him. Completely.

"Maybe," he agreed finally. "Hey, I gotta go. We're meeting the boys soon and he's gonna be here."

"Think about what I've said."

"Yeah, whatever. Bye."

It wasn't five minutes before he heard Travis pounding on the apartment door. Nolan tossed a quick look in the mirror, neatening his hair a little. He shoved his phone into his back pocket--and begged his feelings into submission--then went to answer the door.

**///**

They were four rounds in at the bar, when Claude joined their shared booth, flopping beside TK. Teeks made room for him by sliding all up against Nolan.

He gave TK the side eye. "Let a guy breathe, eh?" he barked before he could stop himself. But he was panicking, feeling TK's thigh, pressed flush against his own. And feeling TK's forearm rubbing against Nolan's, tickling the hairs there, making his whole body flush at that simple contact.

But TK ignored him, leaning past him to shout something at Provy over the music. His palm suddenly landed on Nolan's thigh, as he balanced himself.

Nolan held his breath, didn't dare move or flex a single muscle.

"I know, dude! That's what I'm saying! I met her friend Emily last week and now--"

Nolan used his elbow to dislodge TK. "Get outta my fucking lap, dude," he growled. He just didn't want to hear TK talking about yet another girl.

"Whoa." Teeks held up both palms, slinking back into his own part of the booth. A hurt expression flashed briefly in his eyes and Nolan sighed.

"Just...like a little space, bud." Nolan mumbled the words, staring sulkily into his beer.

The music suddenly got ten degrees louder, a thumping bass thumping through his sternum. Claude got up and moved to the other end of the booth.

"Scoot over," Nolan said once G moved, way too bitchily. Travis didn't budge. He tipped his head sideways, mouth against Nolan's ear. "You have zero chill tonight," he said, a warm puff of breath fanning against Nolan's cheek.

"I'm good." Nolan stared into his beer glass and then took a long draw.

But then Teeks's mouth was back at his ear, his hip shifting against Nolan's as he moved closer. "I didn't ask if you were good." TK's hand landed on Nolan's thigh again, heat radiating through the denim. "I fucking missed you, Nols Babe."

Nolan's throat went dry. "You, uh, said."

He squeezed Nolan's thigh. "Well, it's true." A beat. "And you got anything you wanna say to me now?"

Nolan raised an eyebrow; TK let his head flop sideways onto Nolan's shoulder. Maybe TK had drunk more than Nolan realized.

"Come on, Patty. You know you missed the hell out of me."

Nolan froze. Between the warm puffs of TK's breath on his cheek, and the panicky feeling seizing his belly, he couldn't answer.

TK sat up and looked at him. "You didn't miss me?" His eyebrows furrowed and those Bassett hound eyes looked so much sadder than usual. "Damn, that's it, isn't it?" TK scraped palms over his face. "Oh my God, that's why you barely texted all summer."

"Uh, we texted like all the time." Once a week, a record low for them.

TK continued, "And when I left messages, you never would call me back."

"That wasn't--that wasn't it."

TK sat up taller. "No, bud? Then what's going on? Something wrong?"

Maybe it was TK's earnestness--his immediate concern about Nolan--but he knew he couldn't keep lying to him anymore. No, he couldn't tell TK how he really felt, but there was one thing he _could_ finally be honest about.

"We probably need to talk," Nolan said, avoiding TK's searching look.

"Ok, bud, sure." Teeks clasped his shoulder. "Talk to me."

"Ok. Yeah." Nolan pulled his wallet out and withdrew some bills. "But not here."

**///**

Nolan sank back into his apartment sofa, peeling anxiously at the label of his Yuengling. They'd taken an Uber home and TK had just flopped down on the sectional, flush up beside Nolan. It was normal for them, typical--and naturally TK didn't think anything of being all up in Nolan's space. It was how they were.

But would things between them ever be the same after Nolan told him what he was about to?

He drew a shuddering breath while TK put an episode of _Disappeared_ on, volume off. It was enough for TK just to have shit on in the background a lot of times. The familiarity soothed Nolan just a little and he wondered if TK had put the show on for that very reason.

"Dude. It's the Maura Murray episode. So freaking weird. It was one of those neighbors, dude. You know it." TK's gaze snagged on the opening footage and Nolan remembered that he was more than a little buzzed.

Nolan gently pried the remote from TK's fingers. "Bud, I really need to just say this thing."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, right." TK's tone was sort of hazy, as if he'd maybe somewhat forgotten the thread of their bar conversation. But TK was a better friend than that, which made Nolan suspicious that the avoidance was intentional. What if TK suspected what Nolan was planning to say? Or worse, what if he was afraid Nolan might talk about feelings and what Teeks meant to him--what he meant beyond mere friends.

"You were so quiet all summer," TK said, reaching for Nolan's beer and sipping. Nolan's gaze focused on the way TK licked his full lower lip, his tongue lingering there. And on the way TK's fingertips grazed Nolan's wrist when he returned the beer.

"Thing is," Nolan began, voice huskier than even usual, "sometimes, there are things you talk about that maybe get a little tough for me."

"Dude." TK looked genuinely upset and sad. "Just tell me. I'm super sorry, bro."

"This isn't on you, Teeks. It's just me. But yeah." Nolan absolutely chugged his beer, then wiped the back of his palm over his mouth. "Sometimes it's hard for me to hang out with you and I don't want that. Because, like dude, straight up you're my best friend."

"Same. So tell me. What?" TK sort of vibrated in his spot, beside Nolan. He was jittery and so obviously anxious. "Whatever it is, I won't do it anymore."

"Like, sometimes when we go out or just chill or whatever, you're always talking about girls. And it's hard for me." Nolan stared at his lap, picking at a tear in his jeans. "Just hard to be around all that. Wheeling girls, talking about sleeping with girls. Just a whole lotta shit with girls. And that's maybe too much...for me."

Nolan studied his beer bottle, his face on fire.

"Patty, I don't"--TK cleared his throat--"I don't think I get it, bud. I don't understand."

"You _don't_? Really?" Nolan whipped his head sideways, face hot as he stared at Teeks hard.

"Uh, yeah, really."

"Oh my God." Nolan stared up at the ceiling, then finally glanced back at his friend. "I don't want to _talk about girls_ , ok? Not like that." He made his eyes larger, significantly. "Not like you do."

TK shrugged, but sounded mystified when he said, "Well, then we don't have to."

Nolan groaned, scraping palms over his face "Fuck. You really _don't_ get it, do you?"

"No, no, I think I do. I'll just keep all that shit in my pants." Then TK laughed and oh how Nolan wanted to scream. Or cry.

"I will keep it right in here," TK added, grabbing his crotch like a fourteen year old moron on the back of some roadie bus.

And Nolan hit his breaking point.

He jumped to his feet, whirling on Teeks and said, "I'm saying I'm gay, asshole. For fuck's sake, Travis. It's not that fucking hard to follow."

TK's eyes widened, and his mouth formed an O shape, even though no sound came out. He blinked up at Nolan and then snapped his mouth shut. "Wow. Dude," Teeks said, quickly working to school his reaction. "Ok, yeah. Sure."

Nolan planted hands on both hips, glaring at TK. "Sure?" Nolan repeated incredulously. "That's seriously all you got? Cause this is a pretty fucking big deal to me." He dropped like a lead weight back onto the sofa. And waited for TK to say something--anything--more.

"Well, you need to give me a minute." TK waggled his fingers for the TV remote as if Nolan hadn't just dropped his hugest revelation in the shithead's lap.

"Oh geez. Are you seriously for real?"

"What? We were gonna watch crime." Teeks must've seen Nolan's disappointment on his face. "You know I'm no good at the serious stuff, Patty."

"That's fucking bullshit."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"Yes. _You do_. We've sat through workshops about exactly what you should say."

Really softly, TK murmured, "But it's you."

Nolan leapt to his feet again, hauling TK up with him, yanking him by the hoodie. "Fuck off." He gave TK a shove in the general direction of the door. "What you aren't good at, Travis, is feelings. Like at all. In fact, you suck, asshole."

TK tried digging his heels in as Nolan dragged him toward the front door. "I can't help it that I didn't grow up with sisters!"

"No, but you grew up a decent human being." Nolan opened the door of his apartment. "But I'm maybe re-evaluating that opinion."

TK stared at him imploringly. "Pat, it's just a lot. You gotta let me, like, process?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is it a lot for you? Boo fucking hoo. Because it hasn't been hard for me at all, having to hide who I fucking am, from the world. My teammates. My best friends."

"Nobody said you had to hide from me."

"You just did! By reacting like a complete and total dick."

"I don't give a shit who you sleep with, Pat."

And that? Maybe that hurt Nolan most of all. Because some part of him wanted TK to completely care. To have this confession matter--for it to be the thing that finally made TK notice him as more than just his best friend.

He opened the door all the way and stared out into the hallway. He nearly tumbled over when Travis suddenly wrapped his arms around him. "I fucking love you, Patty. Nothing's gonna change that."

 _I hope you're right_ , he wanted to say. Instead he just shrugged TK off his body. "Get the fuck out of here." He made it familiar, said it with his ordinary prickliness. When what he most wanted to do, was turn and wrap TK closer. Return that embrace.

TK turned one last time to look at him, his hangdog eyes narrowed on him. "Don't stay mad. Please."

" _You're_ a lot," Nolan said with a grudging smile.

"I know." TK sounded sad as he gave Nolan a parting smile. "Maybe I don't deserve it. But I know you love me anyway."

 _If you only knew,_ he thought, and closed the door on TK's pitiful expression.

**///**

The next morning, Nolan woke to a text from TK, saying he was heading to practice early to meet with one of the trainers. Nolan worried it was just an excuse, the beginning of everything changing, even as he was still pissed at how Teeks had reacted last night.

Well, sort of pissed. TK _had_ wrapped his arms around Nolan and told him he loved him. That had happened, and it wasn’t nothing. It had been enough to allow Nolan to fall asleep somewhat easily. He stared at Teeks’ text and told himself that nothing about their relationship would change–even as another part of Nolan desperately wished it would.

He started to text TK back, stopped. Tossed his phone aside, chewed on his fingernail anxiously. Then with a muttered, “Fuck it,” he grabbed his phone.

**Nolan: hope everything’s ok, bro.**

Only after he’d hit send did he realize his text could be taken a couple of different ways. As in, _I hope everything’s ok with us._

**TK: Yeah, dude. Just this shit with my shoulder that’s started back up.**

He had been having issues with an older injury recently, so Nolan forced himself to accept that answer as true and not as an avoidance tactic.

 _Please don’t let this get weird_ , he half-prayed.

Synchronized with the perfection of a tape-to-tape pass, Maddie texted him right then.

**Maddie: You do anything yet, Hamlet? Talk to Travis?**

**Nolan: you can’t accuse me of being a classic figure of inaction.**

_Not now, anyway._

**Maddie** : **whoa. Hockey bro knows a thing or two.**

 **Nolan** **: sure as fuck do. Including that telling Teeks was a shit idea**.

He sees the dots appear. Then gets:

**Maddie: WAS a shit idea?!?!?!**

**Nolan: not sure how it went.**

**Maddie: you told him you’re in love with him????**

**Nolan: baby steps, sis. And it didn’t exactly go fucking great anyway.**

**Maddie: Travis has an issue with you being gay? I’m going to kill him.**

Nolan felt a sudden need to defend the dude’s honor.

 **Nolan** : **he didn’t say that. He hugged me and told me he loves me**

Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again and then a link to a tumblr post came through.

Oh shit. _Here we go_ , he thought, and fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table. He hadn’t slept in his contacts last night, and whatever she had just sent, he was powerless to resist looking.

**@meowpatslover** had posted a gif, with captions superimposed. In the vid, TK pointed at Nolan after he scored and shouted–plainly–“So fucking hot! _You’re so fucking hot_!”

**Maddie: he was pointing at you, Nols.**

**Nolan: I’d just set him up for a goal.**

**Maddie: he say that whenever the other guys send him a sweet pass?**

Nolan locked his phone and climbed out of bed, trying his best to ignore the bout of nerves he experienced imagining practice today. God, he hoped Teeks would just act fucking chill for once.

///

TK was sitting in his stall when Nolan walked in. He gave him a weird smile and in an overly loud voice said, “Patty dude!” But then suddenly made himself super busy by joining into an argument that Raff and Ghost were having. Loud as ever and Nolan told himself everything was normal between them.

///

When Nolan got out of the shower, Teeks was already dressed and gone, not a sign of the guy in sight. And when Nolan got to the lot, his car was gone.

And Nolan told himself everything was normal between them.

///

A week later, TK was still in motorized overdrive, even more hyper than usual. He never stopped talking, but not to Nolan–not really. He was dragging the whole locker room into discussions he would’ve only shared with Nolan before.

He hadn’t been texting Nolan, had been skittish every time they were beside each other in the stall, and Nolan was pretty sure everything was not normal between them.

///

Eight days later and Nolan woke to a text from Maddie.

**Maddie: so?? Where are my updates? What’s happening down there?!**

He called her, and after grunting appropriately, and after a while of his pretending to be above discussing his love life, he sighed into the phone.

“I’m just fucked, Mads. I’m still so fucking into him.”

“Well, duh. It’s only been a week. Of course you're still in love with the guy.”

He paused at that. It felt like a year. “It’s pointless. He can’t even handle me being gay,” he told her, “much less doing gay things with me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s barely talked to me since the night I told him. That’s pretty clear cut.”

“I swear, I’m gonna deal with that boy.”

“Maddie, stop. Don’t do anything.”

She made a reluctant sound, and said, “I wish you’d let me send the Tumblr stans his way. They could make him understand a thing or two.”

“Or I could make him. But I don’t want to. Not anymore.”

It was a day off and he rolled over in bed when they hung up. He pulled the covers over his head and listened to a steady rain hit the window panes. And he wished so much that his heart wasn’t breaking in two.

///

By mid-October, the boys were starting to look at them weird. It wasn’t like he and TK didn’t talk: they shot the shit with the other guys constantly, broke down plays, whatever. But things couldn’t be further from normal between them. 

That was when Provy cornered him in the locker room. “Sushi or burgers?”

“For what?” Nolan paused midway untying his skates.

“For lunch today. We’re going. And those are the choices, Patty.” The sharp-eyed look told him he wouldn’t get out of it, either.

“Put tacos on that fucking menu, bro, or I’m not doing shit.” He hadn’t spent a lifetime with sisters not to recognize what this was, and not to anticipate Provy’s worried questions.

“Only to put you in a good mood,” Provy said with way too much optimism.

“Don’t go getting ideas, fuckhead, I’m not paying.”

Provy laughed and patted Nolan on the head like a wayward puppy. “Aww, bud, you don’t have to work so hard to convince me you’re mean. I’ve known you a long time. I already know that’s a lie.”

Nolan grabbed him and put him in a headlock “No? What about this, you fucking ballsack?”

They launched into some ridiculous tussling--that, yeah, Nolan would admit he was glad Teeks was witnessing. He hanmed it up, sold hard what a fucking awesome bro time they were having.

He caught a glimpse of TK out of the corner of his eye right as he finally wrangled Provy off of him. The expression in his eyes was foreign to Nolan. His eyes were wide and bright and his face was flushed hot.

Nolan ignored him, laughing as he shoved Provy. “Hurry and shower, dude. I’m starving.”

He cast a quick glance at TK, wanting him to be jealous, to stab him a little. But TK was bent over his skates, his long, soaked hair dangling down over his knees. It created a curtain, left him unknowable.

And Nolan wished–God, he wished–things were still normal between them.

///

Nolan and Provy sat at a back-of-restaurant booth at Taco Cabana, just shooting the shit for a good ten minutes before they ordered. Once their server left, smiling pointlessly (not that she knew it) in Nolan’s direction for several very long seconds, he steeled himself. Provy hadn’t just asked him here to catch up, and Nolan knew it.

Provy popped his knuckles—he actually _did that_ , in a classic, ‘let’s get down to it, bro’ type gesture. And then dove right into the reason he’d dragged Nolan out to this lunch.

He didn’t come out and just ask, like, “what’s wrong with you and Travis?” or anything. Those weren’t Provy’s moves. He was much more a standard-issue NHL Zen master. Sort of poetic, in how he approached things like team conflict or if you were on a pointless streak and couldn’t score for shit. One day, he would make a great captain, with his Girouxesque stoicism. He was quiet and intense, but definitely vibed like a captain.

“You okay lately, Patty?”

Nolan nodded, but when it was clear Provy was struggling to broach his topic, Nolan took pity and shot him the opening assist. “‘Sup, Provy?”

Provy smiled at him gently. “I’ve known you a long time, Patty,” he began. “We go back a long way.”

Nolan shifted his weight in the seat, looking around the restaurant. “Here we go.” he laughed.

Provy ignored him, the asshole. “I like to think we are pretty good friends, yeah?” Provy reached for a chip and busied himself with the cheese dip.

When he didn’t say anything more, Nolan laughed humorlessly. "Dude. Was that like an actual fucking question?” He’d always known Provy had his back. His friend lifted one dark brow, and Nolan shook his head. “We’re bros, man. Like, rock solid, Provy.”

Provy gave him a shy, but pleased, smile that stayed on his lips before slowly fading again. "You know that anything you tell me, Pat, it stays with me, right?” He gave Nolan a significant look, a searching one that instantly made Nolan’s cheeks flame. He knew. The fucker knew—as in, really knew—the truth of what was going on with TK. Of course he did; they’d been friends through juniors. He’d probably had his suspicions about Nolan for years.

Their server stopped at their table, delivering their plates, and effectively halted the conversation. She hesitated after getting them squared away, turning to face Nolan. “I am such a huge fan, Nolan Patrick.”

He chuckled low, wishing like fuck that she’d just leave. Not that he didn’t appreciate a fan like any hockey player, but her timing was for shit. His palms were sweating, as he tried to mumble his way through signing a menu for her, and posing for a picture. He’d probably look haunted in it—hunted—as he waited for Provy to say his piece.

Fucking finally she left them to eat, and by then Nolan was so nervous, he had to wipe his palms on his jeans. Provy stared at his plate, looking at his tacos as if they were like the ten commandments or whatever. “I was thinking about that kid you used to be friends with. Back in Brandon. Benny?”

“Ben,” Nolan corrected, throat tight. “Yeah, uh, what about him?” Nolan kept his tone as even as he could manage, even though he’d begun to shake a little.

“Whatever happened to him?” Provy met his gaze significantly again. He knew. He so fucking clearly knew.

Nolan took a bite of taco, chewed it. And at last mumbled, “We broke up. When I got drafted.”

Provy, to his spectacular credit, didn’t so much as blink. He just nodded, as if he had always known Nolan was gay and it was totally chill. Nolan had to clear his throat a few times because it felt impossibly tight, as if something sharp had lodged in it.

He was taking a sip of water when Provy said, “I don’t know what’s going on with you and Teeks. But if he hurts you, I swear, he’ll fucking answer to me.” Provy set down his taco. “Has he hurt you, bro?”

Nolan stared at his lap, shrugging after a long moment. “I don’t know. I think maybe we’ve just been hurting each other.”

Provy nodded, as if that answer sufficed, at least for now. “Don’t do that anymore, then. Don’t hurt him.”

“Seriously? Dude can do the fuck he wants to my heart, but I get the shovel talk?”

Provy burst out laughing. “No, no! I just don’t want to have to fuck you up—so you better not hurt him, either. So help me, I will drop you on your ass.”

They both laughed then, and something eased in Nolan’s chest. He’d come out to a second friend now, and the universe was still intact. “You’ve watched me and Teeks together for a while. You think…do you think he might ever…” God, he just couldn’t bring himself to ask, even as he desperately needed someone—anyone—to tell him he wasn’t crazy for impossibly hoping. Someone other than his sister.

Provy gave him a gentle smile. “He’s fucking crazy about you, Patty. Are you only now just figuring this out?”

Nolan couldn’t help the huge smile that suddenly split his face. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope yet.

///

**Maddie: The tumblr stalker stans are going batshit crazy today.**

**Nolan: I told you to stop going on there, Mads.**

**Maddie: They’re going nuts because you and Travis aren’t ever sitting beside each other on the bench anymore! And you’ve got to see this.**

Maddie sent through a new Tumblr post, another one from **@Meowpatslover.**

This one was a gif of Nolan hunched over the bench, watching the ice, looking miserable (he was), with TK at the other end of the bench, not beside him, like he always used to be. And TK wasn’t watching the play: He was staring down-bench at Nolan with a bereft expression.

**Maddie: you see that? That’s some solid gold hope, right there.**

**Nolan: shut up. He’s not even talking to me.**

**Maddie: you are so dense.**

**Nolan: what’s that supposed to mean?**

**Maddie: you figure it out.**

Nolan opened the link again and watched it play on repeat, over and over, and tried not to hope for seemingly impossible things.

**///**

In the locker room a few days later, TK held out the sock tape to Nolan. It might’ve been the first time he’d made a blatant overture in weeks. “Nolan, here,” TK said. “Need this?”

Hearing Teeks use his actual first name made something dreadful clench in Nolan’s belly. “I don’t need anything from you,” Nolan mumbled. It came out more irritable than he meant, but he was just so sick of the bullshit between them. Of this twisted hope inside–that TK had feelings for him, too. That he wasn’t freezing him out because he couldn’t deal with Nolan being gay, but instead because he feared something much more than that.

“Fucking cold, dude,” TK countered and when Nolan looked up, he wore a guarded expression. But it was also wincing and maybe a little hurt.

“Whatever,” Nolan muttered, finishing off with his skates.

The exchange didn’t go unnoticed by their captain. “Would you two make up already?” Claude said, “It’s fucking depressing for the rest of us.”

“I’m trying!” TK said with a forced laugh. “But you know what Patty’s like.”

“I’m a fucking prince, asshole,” Nolan said, finally just done.

“A Disney prince?” Beezer suggested.

Nolan turned and gave him the finger as he headed out the door.

“What a beauty!” Jake chimed in.

Behind him, he swore he heard TK ruefully say, “Don’t I know it, dude. Don’t I know it.”

Nolan’s heart turned over at those words and he wondered if, maybe, just maybe, he had been missing something all along.

**///**

The next day they left on an eight day roadie out west. When Nolan got to the row where he always sat with TK, he hesitated for a moment. TK was fooling with his phone, in his usual aisle seat, and didn’t notice Nolan. G caught his eye from down the aisle, and that decided it.

Nolan knocked into TK’s shoulder. “Move, shithead. I’m not falling in your lap.”

For a second too long, TK just stared up at him, a little wide-eyed and blinking. Nolan’s chest tightened at just how lost and tired Teeks looked. It was almost more than he could handle, after the past few weeks. TK didn’t budge and finally Nolan nodded toward his empty seat. Well," he said, aiming for bitchy, "don’t make me sorry, dude.”

TK unfroze then, bounding up to his feet so fast, he hit his head on the overhead. “ _Fuck_ ,” he said. “Fucking damn it!”

Nolan steadied him, clasping him gently by the elbow. “You okay, buddy?” he asked softly.

TK nodded and swallowed a few times; Nolan watched the movement of his Adam’s Apple, the way his tongue shot out over his lower lip. Now Nolan was the one who wasn’t moving, just standing there like he’d been hypnotized. TK stepped all the way into the aisle and Nolan shrugged past him and into his seat

Nolan lost himself in messing with his texts, or pretended that he did, gnawing on his thumbnail the whole time.

“Dude. You hear we’re doing some escape room thing in Denver?” TK asked. “Team building deal.” And then TK was motoring at about 500 kph, just talking, talking, talking. “There’s a really great weed dispensary downtown, and I might go. Or maybe I could ask…”

 _You_. But he never finished the sentence and Nolan was too unsure of everything with him to offer to go. But he _wanted_ to be wherever TK was; he just didn’t know how to say that without risking his heart.

TK began rooting through his backpack, pulling out cords and his laptop and headphones. It was like a magical fucking Santa bag. As he was shoving it back down on the floor, Teeks managed to knock his water bottle into Nolan’s lap. “The fuck, dude?” Nolan growled, before he realized the cap was on it.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m a wreck, Patty.” That was at least pretty honest. TK stared down at his laptop, hyper busy with it all of a sudden. Nolan stole a sideways glance and noticed that TK’s cheeks had pinked up, rosy like Nolan’s always got.

He was obviously super anxious and it was making Nolan want to freak out more than he already was.

“I…Patty. Pat.” TK turned beseeching hazel eyes on him. He moved almost imperceptibly closer, opened his mouth to say something. Then focused those pretty eyes on Nolan. “I could, like, pick a movie. Or whatever.”

The “or whatever” seemed to crackle like electricity between them. Nolan wanted a whole lot of “or whatever” with TK, but doubted he wanted anywhere close to the same things that Nolan did.

Except he thought of that Tumblr gif from the bench, the almost anguished look in TK’s eyes–a look that wasn’t far off from the one on the guy’s face right now.

“I loaded on some episodes of _Cold Case files_.”

Nolan made a face and TK began fidgeting and rattling off like ten choices without taking a breath. His right leg, the one next to Nolan’s own, was in motorized jiggle mode. Finally Nolan pressed two fingers against that muscular upper thigh, stilling the motion. He leaned close–much closer, and softly said, “Breathe. Just breath, Trav.”

And his friend exhaled heavily, sagging a little. He plugged in his headphones and offered one earbud to Nolan for sharing. Nolan pushed it into his left ear, which forced him to lean closer. It pressed their shoulders together and the heat of TK’s body was a solid, comforting weight.

After a moment, Nolan realized he still had fingers pressed against TK’s thigh. He quickly moved his hand, but TK honestly seemed to shift a little closer after, almost like he was chasing after the heat and weight of Nolan’s hand. Needing the physical contact.

 _Welcome to my world_ , Nolan thought.

“We can, uh, watch until takeoff,” TK said, swallowing hard, and they agreed to start _Parasite_. But it had subtitles and Nolan’s brain was in a spin cycle. It felt like every centimeter of his body was smashed up against TK’s and it was almost more than he could take.

He kept stealing sideways glances at TK, just small ones out of the edge of his eye. And every time he did, TK was glancing back at him, uncertainty in his gaze. But also with something else in his eyes, something fragile and tentative and more. Something Nolan wanted to latch onto and never let go. He wanted to stuff it deep inside his heart and lock it there forever.

It wasn’t long until they taxied down the runway and then were in the air. And that look had vanished from TK’s eyes, leaving Nolan to wonder if he had ever really seen it.

**///**

The escape room was actually pretty fun. Right up until the moment when he and TK got stuck alone together in one especially tiny room, as if the rest of the team had arranged it on purpose. Especially since at the last minute Jake had looked at Nolan and said something thickly accented that sounded like, “Whoops. Gotta dash, bud,” and then ghosted them. So did Ghost, which was sorta poetically perfect.

There was a healthy likelihood that they’d been set up.

TK stood there, fussing with the puzzle they were supposed to solve, but he legitimately was spending more time looking at Nolan.

“What?” Nolan asked, blushing furiously.

TK shook his head and began pulling a fake lever down, over and over.

“That doesn’t do anything. We've already established that.”

“Ok. I know. Look”–TK turned to face him–“this fucking _sucks_.”

“You’re right. And that’s why we need to focus, dude. Because I don’t want to spend the next six hours stuck in here.”

“I don’t mean _that_.”

Nolan nodded, his heart racing. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he couldn’t begin to say.

“Can we not? Right now?” Nolan said. “I mean, I _wanna_ talk, I do. But I’m thinking the boys set us up and let’s not give them the satisfaction of, like, staying in here forever.”

“You want to talk?” TK asked, his eyes suddenly bright. “Really, bud?”

“Well, yeah, obviously.” Nolan stole a glance at him. “Why else do you think I told you…what I did?”

Quietly, TK said, “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”

Now Nolan was pulling pointless levers that weren’t going to free them from the too-small industrial room. “You’re my best friend. You should know that about me.”

“I _should’ve_ known, Patty. Like, a good while ago or whatever.”

“You’re seriously gonna give me lessons on how to come out? You, with all your vast experience?”

TK made a weird face, staring down at his feet. He adjusted his cammo snapback. He avoided looking into Nolan’s eyes. “But, you tell me everything, Patty,” he said, bouncing from one foot to another.

“Yeah. And that’s why I told you, idiot. Now you know.”

Earnest hazel eyes lifted to his. “ _Do_ I know? Like, all of it?”

And oh, how Nolan wanted to do something rash and dangerous right then. He wanted to slide his hand into that long brown hair and tug Travis fucking Konecny into his arms and kiss the living shit out of him.

Agitated and trapped-feeling, Nolan yanked on one more lever. And suddenly the door sprung open.

“Oh, thank God,” he said and sprinted from the room, and TK, as fast as he possibly could.

**///**

Nolan sat at his hotel room desk, staring at his new Tumblr account. With a strengthening breath, he began typing.

**@HeGaveMeARaccoon19:** **So, if I were actually Nolan…and I was actually in love with Konecny… what advice would you guys give me?**

After the escape room, and how close he’d come to kissing TK (a few more minutes and it would’ve definitely happened) he needed to know. He was desperate, and when desperate, it was best to turn to experts. A zillion years’ worth of coaching had taught him that much.

**@HeGaveMeARaccoon19** : **What would it mean, hypothetically, if Teeks gave me a giant stuffed raccoon?**

Replies would surely come, though not immediately–he had zero Tumblr followers, after all. But he did have hashtags. After staring at the screen, heart jackrabbiting in his chest, he began putting on his suit for the game. He was struggling with his tie, (he wasn’t about to go down the hall and ask TK for help), when he finally got a reply notification.

**@meowpatslover** : Omg, can you imagine if TK really DID give Nolpat a raccoon?

**Nolan: I can imagine it pretty clearly. Actually.**

**@meowpatslover: well, how did he give you that raccoon? Was it like at a team event or??**

**Nolan: Let’s say it was at an airport, after the summer away or whatever.**

**@kinkypatsoboots: oh that’s big romantic gesture territory. Totally. Is this like for a fic idea? Or are we??**

**@meowpatlover No, he said it’s Nolan. Or “Nolan”. Look, only one reason a dude brings a giant stuffed animal to an airport: love. He loves you, fake Nolpat.**

**Nolan: what if, hypothetically, he maybe wants me to tell him how I really feel?**

**@meowpatslover: then you tell him!**

**Nolan: But maybe he doesn’t. This afternoon at the escape room, he just said this thing.**

**@kinkypatsoboots: wait, what? The boys WERE at an escape room today. Saw that on Insta.**

**Nolan: yeah saw that too.**

**@NolCatsIsMine: look, Nolan, we can all see that you guys are like true total love. It’s so hugely obvious. Now go and get your boy.**

**Nolan: dude, you get that this isn’t really Nolan Patrick, right?**

**///**

The game against the Avs went to overtime. At almost the end of OT, Nolan found himself battling it out in the corner with Nathan Mackinnon. Nolan finally got the puck moving after a warning from the ref, and sent it to Teeks who was in the slot. He fired, and the shot rebounded, but Nolan managed to get his stick on it. He went five-hole and scored the game-winning goal.

TK was all over him in an instant, wrapping both arms around Nolan and whooping. The impact was so hard, they went spinning. TK gloved the top of Nolan’s helmet, pulling Nolan closer. “You fucking beauty!” TK beamed at him, laughing wildly. “Dude, I love you! I _fucking love you!”_

And then they were pressing helmets together and the rest of the team was swarming them too. TK never let Nolan go, not the whole time, keeping his arms wrapped tight around him.

Nolan held on back, just as tightly.

**///**

The next afternoon they played Vegas. They’d taken a late flight out after the Avs game, with TK snoring exhaustedly beside Nolan. So it wasn’t like there’d been a chance for things to get weird between them. Not about the conversation at the escape room, not about that their shared celly after Nolan’s game winning goal. Not about TK’s shouting, “I fucking love you.”

Not about TK holding Nolan so close, for so long, in front of like 20,000 fans, who all just assumed they were hockey bros being hockey bros. Not about any of it.

_I fucking love you._

TK had told him the same thing the night Nolan came out to him. But last night, in the heat of the moment, the words had felt different. Electric. Revelatory.

Nolan played the Knights like he was fucking on fire, with an assist and two goals before the end of period two. TK wound up beside him on the bench after Nolan scored his second goal, and gave him a sexy grin. “So fucking hot today, Patty Cakes. You’re a fucking smoke show.”

Nolan elbowed him. “Fuck off,” he mumbled, stifling a smile.

TK scooted closer to him, as hungry for Nolan’s attention as he’d always been.

“Only got eyes for you, Patty baby,” he said, quietly enough that nobody else on that bench would hear. But Nolan heard. Oh, he most definitely heard—and so did his dick. So did his traitorous dick.

Nolan flushed from his scalp to his skates. He shifted where he sat, willing his prick to just settle the fuck down.

TK pressed his mouth to Nolan’s ear, a warm breath puffing against his cheek. It made a small shiver chase down Nolan’s spine. “Boys are going out after,“ TK murmured. "You in?”

Nolan nodded, made a big show of watching the on-ice action. TK settled beside him, and Nolan didn’t think he would say more. But when there was an icing call, he leaned close again. "I wanna get you drunk.”

Nolan thought he would die on the spot, but he nodded. Somehow he managed to reply, in a voice gone all rough, “Yeah, dude. I think we definitely need to get wrecked together.”

TK turned to him, hazel eyes dancing a little as they met and held Nolan’s own. “I’ll wreck you, all right.”

Oh, fuck. Nolan was so screwed.

**///**

They won the Vegas game handily, with a runaway score of 7-2, with Nolan getting a hat trick. At the bar, drinks were being shoved at him every time he so much as turned around—a good half of them being pushed at him by TK.

TK who was spread out in the booth beside him, legs loose and wide, and pushing right up against Nolan’s own upper thigh. “Patty! Dude, they have a scorpion shot. Like, it’s got a real live-ass _scorpion_ in the _glass_. You need that. We both need that.”

“We don’t need shit, bud. I don’t want to die for absolutely no good reason.”

“I don’t want you to die, period.” TK looked mildly afeonted. “I wouldn’t serve you a deadly shot.”

“You wouldn’t? What would you serve me?” Nolan asked, and the words came out flirtatious. And sounded way, way too fucking sexy, even to his own ears.

And now Nolan couldn’t stop staring at TK’s mouth. And then his eyes. “Puppy eyes,” he said and the words were a little slurred. “You’ve got beautiful puppy eyes.”

Teeks propped his hand in his palm and slyly looked at Nolan. “Funny. Because you look like a cat.”

And somehow they both decided that was the funniest fucking thing, like, literally ever.

“You are fucking wasted. Patty dude, you are a total wreck.”

Nolan planted his palm in his hand, too, and they sat there, weirdly staring at each other in drunken giddiness. “Well, Travis”–Nolan released a stupid giggle–“that’s what you promised you’d do to me.

TK stared back at him, and then burst out laughing like a drunken maniac. ” _Travis_?“ Teeks repeated.

"Yeah, Travis. _Travis_. I love your name,” Nolan said, all loosened up, his words even looser. “I should fucking use it more often.”

“You know I answer to whatever you want to call me.” Those eyes crinkled up with a gorgeous smile. TK was so fucking beautiful. People didn’t give him enough credit for that. It had never made sense to Nolan at all.

Under the booth table, a hand found it’s way to Nolan’s upper thigh. It landed there without warning or even any self-consciousness. It was like at the bar the night everything blew up between them: it was simply Teeks balancing himself as he leaned around Nolan to talk to the boys. Something he’d probably done a hundred times before. Just a way to prop himself as he stretched past Nolan.

But somehow it felt like more than that tonight, maybe it always had been. Now, it was _intentional, l_ ike something…a boyfriend would do. Heat from TK’s palm radiated through Nolan’s ripped up skinny jeans, and he fought the urge to squirm much closer. To wrap himself all up in this crazy, loud, hyper guy who he loved beyond reason.

“Simmer was all on that shit!” TK said, laughing wildly with G about something Ryan Reaves had tried during the game.

Ryan Reaves who was seriously one of the hottest dudes in the NHL.

“I don’t blame him,” Nolan muttered without thinking, “I’d be all on Ryan Reaves, too.” He really was starting to get wasted, and needed to slow down if he was letting shit like that slip.

“Oh, yeah, bud?” TK turned in his seat to stare at Nolan. His expression was…thirsty. Like he wanted to take Nolan apart.

“Not like—not like _that_.” Nolan’s face heated, his predictable flush hitting his cheeks.

“Thank God.” TK honestly almost sounded relieved, but then someone tossed a beer cap at him. And then TK got swept up in yet another conversation, leaning even further into Nolan as he talked to G.

TK kept his palm on Nolan’s thigh, just warm and solid and so fucking tempting—like he was laying claim or promising something for later. Like he needed to just _fucking touch_ Nolan, had to have his hands on him, even when talking to someone else. Like he could barely wait until he could touch so much more of him, take him apart. _Wreck him._

Nolan shifted now himself–pushed a little closer to TK, until they were touching from hip to calf. And, still, that solid palm never left Nolan’s thigh. He blinked, the bar lights seeming dimmer and hazier, and then said what he’d wanted to say for a long time now. It was dangerous and a roll of the Vegas dice, but he said it all the same. “Hey, Teeks,” he mumbled.

“Hmm?” TK was trying to flag the server down for another round.

Nolan caught his hand and pulled it down, and under the table. He squeezed it. TK’s gaze yanked upward to Nolan’s, suddenly sobering. “What is it, baby?” He searched Nolan’s face, squeezing his hand back.

Nolan dropped his gaze to TK’s mouth, just staring, and said what he’d wanted to say at dozens of other bars, over dozens of months. “Hey, Trav,” he said softly, “get me out of here?”

TK nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing. His voice didn’t sound steady when he replied. “Where you wanna go?”

Nolan’s eyes drifted shut. “I don’t care. So long as it’s with you.”

**///**

In the backseat of the Uber, Nolan stared at the bright lights of Vegas, everything twinkling and shimmering in the dessert night. It was unseasonably cold, and he pulled his toque down over his ears until only wisps of hair curled out from underneath. He suddenly felt much more sober, away from the bar, and his nerve nearly vanished.

How could he possibly tell TK the things swimming around in his head, moving like unseen fish beneath murky water?

But he also couldn’t possibly go on like this, and their friendship couldn’t either. If they didn’t do something, move off this dead, dead center, it probably wouldn’t survive. No more than Nolan’s pathetic heart would.

He loved the guy beside him so fucking much, sometimes it hurt. Travis Konecny was who he wanted to be with, from the moment he woke until he rolled over at night and during all those endless quiet hours in between.

 _You’re my person_. He almost just turned to TK and said it. _You’re my person and I’m fucking crazy in love with you._

He chanced a sideways glance and, surprisingly, TK wasn’t looking out his own window. He was staring at Nolan, a vulnerable look in his eyes. He gave Nolan a tentative smile, reaching to touch his cheek. “Hey, beaut.” He brushed fingertips along the side of Nolan’s neck, his expression incredibly fond.

Nolan smiled slowly, shaking his head. “Im a beaut, eh? You been saying that a lot tonight,” Nolan muttered low, with a cautious look at their driver in the front of the SUV.

But he was on a phone call, chattering away in Russian. Dude probably knew shit tons about hockey. Maybe knew who they were.

“You, Nolan Patrick, are the very definition of a beauty.”

Nolan laughed. “You’re wasted.”

TK ignored him. “I’ll say it to anyone who wants to listen.” TK sent a pointed look at the driver, as if saying to Nolan that he was worth it–worth risking exposure, worth risking everything.

Worth maybe bringing down a mound of trouble on both their heads over.

TK scooted closer, tipping his mouth toward Nolan’s ear. “I’ve meant it every time, Patty baby. My fucking beauty.”

“Yours, eh?”

“Aren’t you?” The question was soft and earnest and fucking ballsy as hell. It was hot, that level of confidence. The moves TK was making here. Only this time, it wasn’t Nolan watching TK make those moves with some anonymous blonde girl in a bar. It was all for him.

“I’m not wasted,” TK said suddenly. “I’m shutting _that shit_ right down. I know what I want.”

Nolan’s jaw might have literally dropped. “Dude,” he whispered, eyes locked on TK.

“Let’s try this again. You’re mine, aren’t you, Pat?”

Nolan swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah, Trav, I’m yours,” he said slowly. “I think I’ve probably been yours from the very start.”

“Fuck me,” TK said, almost barking the words. “I wanna get you to your room like yesterday.” The words set fire to Nolan, his body downright incendiary, his neck and cheeks blazing. “Nolan, I want to fucking wreck you.”

Nolan’s breath stuttered, and he wondered how in fuck he could wait until the room to just get his hands on TK.

But then Teeks slid his hand along the seat between them until his hand brushed up against Nolan’s own, and they twined pinkies.

Nolan’s heart was hammering, slamming like sticks against the boards after a fight.

But he didn’t unlatch their pinkies and he didn’t move.

“I wanna talk to you, too,” TK said after a moment. “I mean, not just talk.”

Nolan rumbled a laugh. “Obviously.”

“There’s some shit I need to say, Patty. To explain. That’s all. So talk first and then…”

Nolan nodded vigorously, squeezing TK’s hand. “And then.”

///

Okay, so Nolan had lied. He wasn’t brave enough to do this without Maddie. Or maybe he was stalling, but either way he walked straight into his bathroom, tapping on his phone the whole way. “Out in a minute,” he mumbled, anxiously. In the bathroom mirror he could see TK sprawled out on his bed, head pillowed on one curving arm.

Nolan closed the bathroom door and wilted against it. Holy shit.

**Nolan: Mads, I’m freaking. TK is in my room and I think I’m gonna do it. I think I’m going to tell him how I feel.**

**Maddie: hallelujah**

**Nolan: are you saying my misery is a religious experience for you?**

**Maddie: are you miserable, though? He’s in your room. So.**

**Nolan: shut up.**

**///**

Nolan walked out of the bathroom, and sort of leaned against the door jam, hand still on the knob.

“You planning to dart back in there like some stray raccoon diving under the porch?”

“Uh, no,” Nolan said, a little bitchily. And then: “Why did you bring that stuffed raccoon to the airport, anyway?”

TK stretched a little on the bed where he lay, head propped on two pillows, just watching Nolan. His eyes grew hooded. So beautiful, always, those eyes. Nolan could stare into them for hours, lose himself in them.

“Why do ya think I gave you the raccoon?”

Nolan shrugged where he stood. “Dunno. Been trying to figure that out.”

TK studied him for a long moment, softly lit by the dim bedside light. “I’d missed you.”

“It was a weird gift. A fucking weird thing to do.”

“Was it, though? Depends on the context.” TK shrugged. “I dunno. I’m a weird guy so maybe that’s it.” Teeks shrugged again, a sort of “what can you do?” expression.

Nolan pushed off the door jam walking closer. “What was the context? I mean, for you?”

Nolan reached the bed, and sank down beside TK, perching on the edge. TK stared up at him, moved his hand–then froze, seemingly thinking better of whatever he was going to do. Then he shifted slightly, rolling a little on his side and reached toward Nolan again, trailing fingertips along Nolan’s arm. Downward, watching his fingers move. When be reached the back of Nolan’s hand, resting on the mattress between them, he covered it.

“I think you know why I brought that stupid raccoon.”

Nolan’s breath left him. “Maybe. But…like specificity is king. Dude.”

TK began moving those fingertips again, trailing them up Nolan’s arm, then to the side of his neck. He cupped Nolan’s neck. “Because I love you, Patty. I’m _in love_ with you.”

“What? B-but you ghosted me!” Nolan said. “All these weeks! Dude, what the fuck.”

TK sat up quickly, scooting closer to Nolan. “Pat, no. No.” He shook his head vigorously. “I was always right there. Right beside you.”

Nolan’s eyes burned. “That night, you like, didn’t say anything when I told you I’m gay. I was trying to talk to you and you wanted to put on fucking _Disappeared_!”

Nolan swiped at his suddenly damp eyes. “It kinda fucking broke me, dude.”

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” TK palmed the top of Nolan’s head, then stroked his hair. “I didn’t mean–it’s just that, here I was, right? Just going around with all these _feelings_. All these fucking feelings for you. And thinking I just had to be the only one. You couldn’t possibly feel the same about me. I was just, like, ‘I have to be the only one feeling this way.” TK searched his face. “It was sheer torture.”

“But you weren’t the only one. Obviously.”

TK leaned forward and brushed his lips briefly against Nolan’s. “I know that now,” he said softly.

“You _better_ fuckin’ know it,” Nolan grumbled, fighting the urge to press fingers to his lips where TK had just kissed him. To chase after the sensation.

“You saying you’re in love with me, too, big guy?” TK’s hand moved to Nolan’s cheek, fingertips sliding into Nolan’s hair. “Hmm?”

Nolan pressed his eyes shut. “From practically the first week I met you,” he told TK, “you’ve been absolutely everything to me. And I was scared to fucking hope that you felt the same.”

“When I’m just this little Canadian redneck and you’re so gorgeous and cool–and for some insane reason, you actually, like, want to spend every waking moment with me.”

“Yeah because I’m fucking in love with you, idiot.”

“Oh, praise Jesus!” TK’s eyes were suddenly wide and _very_ bright. Nolan’s heart turned over in his chest, just seeing how happy TK was. That somehow _Nolan_ had made him that happy.

He seized hold of TK’s hoodie, tugging him closer. “Come here,” he said, all grumbly low.

He pressed his lips to TK’s mouth and it was dry and rough. But it set Nolan on fire, all the same. And then TK’s tongue was there and wet and their mouths were opening. And it wasn’t dry or awkward anymore.

They went tumbling back into the bed, falling in a heap of stupid laughter and horniness and warmth. Nolan slid his palm up under TK’s hoodie, the smooth warmth of his back sending jolts of electricity to Nolan’s groin.

Fuck, this was hot.

They rolled together and TK landed on top. Nolan opened his legs to him, and TK settled between his thighs. There was an unmissable bulge in TK’s jeans and it was rubbing against Nolan’s own rapidly hardening dick.

“ _Fuck_ ,” TK groaned, drawing the word out with a shiver.

And then he resumed kissing Nolan, one palm sliding along the inside of Nolan’s thigh. He’d never been small, something he got endlessly chirped about in the dressing room.

TK slid his fingers along the inside of Nolan’s thigh, sending fire to his groin.

“Damn, Pat.” He whistled appreciatively. “I knew you had a wrench on ya, but holy shit.”

“Fuck off,” Nolan grumbled, rucking TK’s hoodie up some more.

And then TK’s hand was all the way on him, and he found Nolan’s zipper. And then they weren’t talking anymore at all.

///

“Hey, Trav?” Nolan asked sleepily. They’d been laying in bed for hours in the dark, watching the flashing Vegas lights through the open curtains.

“Hmm?” There was a smile in the sleepy inquiry. Even after hours of being in bed together, TK still seemed blissed out of his mind by it all.

“Did you know that on Tumblr, there’s a thing about you and raccoons?”

“Huh.”

Nolan turned his head and studied him. “You _do_ know that, don’t you?”

“Maybe that’s why I brought you a raccoon. Maybe not.” TK began giggling like a little maniac.

“Wait a minute.” Nolan leaned up sharply onto his elbow, gaping. “Trav, you don’t, like, _go on_ Tumblr and, like, post and shit, do you?”

TK sat up, too, and pressing their noses almost together, quoted what that tumblr poster had said, yesterday afternoon. “'There’s only one reason a man brings a stuffed animal to the airport’, Patty Babe.”

“Fuck. Me. It was you!” Nolan began shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re the one who told me to go and get my boy!”

TK rolled back down onto the bed, pulling Nolan with him. “Yeah, I saw your post,” TK said, petting Nolan’s hair softly. “I go on Tumblr sometimes and I was trying to distract myself. I searched your hashtag.” TK gave him a shy smile. “I’ve maybe been a little obsessed lately.”

“That’s why you flirted with me the whole game!” Nolan said, disbelieving. Everything suddenly made so much sense.

“Nobody else could’ve known I brought you that raccoon.”

Nolan started to laugh and shoved at TK. “You are a fucking wreck, Travis Konecny. A wreck. And I fucking love you.”

TK nibbled at his neck. “I love you, too, baby.” And then: “You think it’s possible to break curfew in bed? Cause I’m pretty sure we’re doing that right now.”

And then TK kept on talking while Nolan drifted sweetly asleep in his arms.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love comments and hearing from readers. That level of interaction means all the more during quarantine, too! ❤️❤️ Thanks to everyone who has commented thus far! Stay healthy, everyone.


End file.
